You see them everywhere – in the schoolyard, in the office, in parties, in the street. They served as sympathy generating foils in countless teenage movies as well as made the object of ridicule in real life. People who can’t seem to do anything right. People wearing forced but weary smiles, bravely putting on happy faces. Bodies trying to stand and walk upright but weighed down with the burden of low self-esteem. These are the people society calls Losers.
“Loser” is arguably one of the most derogatory descriptions today evaded by and yet plastered on human beings. Over the years, the meaning of the word has somewhat evolved from a one-time description arising from a single event (e.g. someone who loses a tennis match is a loser) to a label that marks a person like a scarlet letter on the breast.
This demeaning label does not have to be expressed in verbal ways. You see it as a cultural phenomenon in Hindu society’s caste systems. You saw it as a social issue in America’s racially segregated schools and buses. Just as much can you see it in individual, day-to-day experiences: the lone child who was not chosen by any of the team leaders to be part of their team; the beleaguered office worker bullied by a domineering boss; the teenager who can’t get a date to the prom.
What is a loser? The contemporary definition defines loser as one who consistently fails, one with bad luck, poor skills, some physical defect, or just some attribute that makes them different from “normal” people. And because of these, they have seldom or never seemed to be successful at anything, like a marriage, personal relationship, a job or career, an education, or any endeavor that merits human praise or inclusion in society. A loser can also be called by different names – misfit, dropout, wannabe. A loser is not only someone who cannot succeed at anything, but also someone who “does not belong.” Not surprisingly, there is a website for losers that neatly and presumptuously categorizes them.
People who are labeled as losers are one of the most misunderstood. They may be thought of as lazy, indifferent to winning, contemptuous of social norms or standards, or just plain strange, when in fact a lot of them have tried hard, perhaps too hard, to succeed or fit in. They are beset with a vicious cycle of self-pity, despair and alienation, which leads to further failure. Sometimes losers don’t come out as pitiful or ridiculous, but as hateful people, people with chips on their shoulders who are antagonistic to everyone. But these are people who want to be accepted too. People do not choose to lose. No one wants to be a loser.
Having losers are a result of society’s pre-occupation with winning. If there are winners, there most certainly are losers. The glut and apparent success of self-help motivational speakers who extol the value and benefits of winning (sometimes at all costs) are a symptom of today’s social mindset. While society’s and civilization’s progress are attributable to a culture of winning, who knows what damage this culture has inflicted upon countless lives who have not been included in the winner’s circle? What happens to those left out on the fringe of society’s success? One cannot doubt the advantages of a winning attitude; this is not wrong in itself. But one must also be alert to the extremes such an attitude can breed – all sorts of unruly passions and misplaced priorities.
This culture, and its caustic effects is aptly reflected in the movie, “Little Miss Sunshine,” which tells the story of a dysfunctional family who, despite their problems, goes on a road trip to enable their young daughter, Olive, to join the finals of a beauty pageant. The uncle, a gay professor, has attempted suicide after a failed romance with a graduate student. The grandfather is a drug addict. The mother is a divorcee with a nervous disposition. The brother is a Nietzsche fanatic and rebel who has taken a vow of silence.
Ironically, Richard, the father, is a motivational speaker, who speaks of personal success through his nine-step program. Unfortunately, the program does not sell. He continues however to exalt people who succeed and reprove those who fail throughout the movie, totally unaware or maybe in denial of the fact that his family, including he, is composed of the very “losers” he criticizes. Richard, in the movie sums up his core beliefs, not necessarily rooted in truth, when he tells his audience at a motivational seminar that there are two kinds of people in this world: winners and losers. This statement not only represents Richard’s belief but the belief of many in society today. If you are not a winner, you are a loser.
But is it fair to categorize people into winners and losers? Some say people are losers if they don’t measure up. But measure up to what? Standards of success and priorities vary. Someone may be called a loser by some, a winner by others. If a man were a poor breadwinner but an excellent father, would he be a loser? This merely shows the futility of judging people and giving them a stereotypical, all encompassing label that does not account for the complexity of human nature and situations.
What is certainly ironic is that people who call other people losers may themselves mask their fear or cover up their lurking insecurity that they themselves are one of the losers. So, the thinking goes, “If I call that person a loser, then I must not be one of them.” (Yeah, right.) People are so afraid of being called a loser; they will go to great lengths, often at the expense of others, to point the glaring spotlight away from their own foibles.
Let me tell you the story about one so-called loser. Jesus in his time was heralded by many as the savior of Israel. News of his miracles were celebrated and his reputation for wisdom was growing throughout the region. But by the end of his life, many of his admirers became his detractors and he died an agonizing death. Isaiah 53 talks about a man who was “despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, familiar with suffering.” By then, his apostles were left in fear and disarray. His ministry seemed to be extinguished, his preaching unfruitful, and his claim of salvation to the world a broken promise. In Jesus’s time, he would have been perceived as someone who went on an intense ministry for three years with nothing to show for it, and who later died a criminal’s shameful death. In other words, by today’s standards, Jesus would be a “loser.”
But we all know that Christ’s resurrection proved that his earthly torment and death was only a temporary event. Jesus’ resurrection made him, and all of us who believe in his name, “winners” in the final accounting. Paul’s confidence in his reward stems from his faith in Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 4:8 says, “Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.”
The truth is, all people lose at many points in their lives, some more than others. All of us have become and continue to be losers. But exactly how many times does a person need to fail to be called a loser? The personal stories of some of the most successful men are stories of years of constant failing before succeeding. Abraham Lincoln would have probably been labeled a loser by today’s standards, until history judged him to be one of America’s greatest presidents.
God did not make men perfect and “he causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matthew 5:45). He especially reserves the lowest points, the greatest sufferings, and the biggest defeats, to those he dearly loves. The Bible is filled with Godly characters experiencing ungodly misery – Job, David, Jeremiah, as well as the saints of the New Testament who suffered countless trials and suffering. As such, God reserves a very special place in his heart for all the “losers” in this world. Soren Kierkegaard describes the type of people that Jesus associated with:
“And what company does he keep? Well, that can be described by saying that he is an outcast from “human society.” The company he keeps is the lowest class of the population, including, furthermore, sinners and tax-gatherers, who are shunned by every man of any importance who values his good name and reputation; and a good name and reputation is surely the last thing one would like to lose. His company consists, moreover, of lepers, who are shunned by everybody, madmen, who provoke only horror, of the sick and the needy, of poverty and wretchedness.” [i]
However, one must understand that “loser” is more a state of mind than a fact expressed by others. We all feel like losers at some point in time. Even Jesus, at the height of his agony and by his human nature cried out “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). But despite his earthly circumstances and natural human emotions, and despite the insults of the crowd at his trial and crucifixion, Jesus knew deep inside that he was not a loser because he saw the promise of heavenly glory (Matthew 24:30). And because of this conviction, Jesus was able to pursue his destiny to the very end, a destiny that would eventually and positively affect countless lives through many generations. And so we must have that confidence in Christ, that while we may feel like losers at times, and while others may taunt and accuse us, we are assured of our real station in life – as children of God (John 1:12) bound for glory. All who believe in Jesus are on the winning team.
For us Christians who feel abandoned by God or bereft of his grace, for those of us who seem to experience one failure after another, who somehow do not fit in, who are non-performers, underachievers, and outsiders, we must remember that our life is not a matter of winning and losing by the world’s standards. It is God who determines who the real so-called winners are. And it is the saints who fulfill God’s purpose in obedience and faith, who go through life’s trials with “Christ in them, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:12), who will end up richly rewarded. “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Corinthians 4:17).
What’s the point of life? Is it to be a winner in the world’s eyes? To God, there really are no winners and losers in this world, only those who love and obey him and those who don’t. His love, grace and discipline do not distinguish between winners and losers. Rather he looks at the condition of a person’s heart . . . “Blessed are the poor in spirit . . . blessed are those who mourn . . . blessed are the meek" (Matthew 5: 3-5). What God looks for and rewards are a humble spirit, a sense of anguish for one’s sin, and one’s willingness to submit to Christ’s will[ii]. We should not even attempt to categorize ourselves as winners or losers for it is God who will eventually judge us. He said that many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first (Matthew 19:30).
Are you a winner or a loser? That was and is never the point.
A.G. Astudillo, 1986
[i] Kierkegaard, Soren. Training in Christianity.
[ii] Wycliffe Bible Commentary, p. 937
“Loser” is arguably one of the most derogatory descriptions today evaded by and yet plastered on human beings. Over the years, the meaning of the word has somewhat evolved from a one-time description arising from a single event (e.g. someone who loses a tennis match is a loser) to a label that marks a person like a scarlet letter on the breast.
This demeaning label does not have to be expressed in verbal ways. You see it as a cultural phenomenon in Hindu society’s caste systems. You saw it as a social issue in America’s racially segregated schools and buses. Just as much can you see it in individual, day-to-day experiences: the lone child who was not chosen by any of the team leaders to be part of their team; the beleaguered office worker bullied by a domineering boss; the teenager who can’t get a date to the prom.
What is a loser? The contemporary definition defines loser as one who consistently fails, one with bad luck, poor skills, some physical defect, or just some attribute that makes them different from “normal” people. And because of these, they have seldom or never seemed to be successful at anything, like a marriage, personal relationship, a job or career, an education, or any endeavor that merits human praise or inclusion in society. A loser can also be called by different names – misfit, dropout, wannabe. A loser is not only someone who cannot succeed at anything, but also someone who “does not belong.” Not surprisingly, there is a website for losers that neatly and presumptuously categorizes them.
People who are labeled as losers are one of the most misunderstood. They may be thought of as lazy, indifferent to winning, contemptuous of social norms or standards, or just plain strange, when in fact a lot of them have tried hard, perhaps too hard, to succeed or fit in. They are beset with a vicious cycle of self-pity, despair and alienation, which leads to further failure. Sometimes losers don’t come out as pitiful or ridiculous, but as hateful people, people with chips on their shoulders who are antagonistic to everyone. But these are people who want to be accepted too. People do not choose to lose. No one wants to be a loser.
Having losers are a result of society’s pre-occupation with winning. If there are winners, there most certainly are losers. The glut and apparent success of self-help motivational speakers who extol the value and benefits of winning (sometimes at all costs) are a symptom of today’s social mindset. While society’s and civilization’s progress are attributable to a culture of winning, who knows what damage this culture has inflicted upon countless lives who have not been included in the winner’s circle? What happens to those left out on the fringe of society’s success? One cannot doubt the advantages of a winning attitude; this is not wrong in itself. But one must also be alert to the extremes such an attitude can breed – all sorts of unruly passions and misplaced priorities.
This culture, and its caustic effects is aptly reflected in the movie, “Little Miss Sunshine,” which tells the story of a dysfunctional family who, despite their problems, goes on a road trip to enable their young daughter, Olive, to join the finals of a beauty pageant. The uncle, a gay professor, has attempted suicide after a failed romance with a graduate student. The grandfather is a drug addict. The mother is a divorcee with a nervous disposition. The brother is a Nietzsche fanatic and rebel who has taken a vow of silence.
Ironically, Richard, the father, is a motivational speaker, who speaks of personal success through his nine-step program. Unfortunately, the program does not sell. He continues however to exalt people who succeed and reprove those who fail throughout the movie, totally unaware or maybe in denial of the fact that his family, including he, is composed of the very “losers” he criticizes. Richard, in the movie sums up his core beliefs, not necessarily rooted in truth, when he tells his audience at a motivational seminar that there are two kinds of people in this world: winners and losers. This statement not only represents Richard’s belief but the belief of many in society today. If you are not a winner, you are a loser.
But is it fair to categorize people into winners and losers? Some say people are losers if they don’t measure up. But measure up to what? Standards of success and priorities vary. Someone may be called a loser by some, a winner by others. If a man were a poor breadwinner but an excellent father, would he be a loser? This merely shows the futility of judging people and giving them a stereotypical, all encompassing label that does not account for the complexity of human nature and situations.
What is certainly ironic is that people who call other people losers may themselves mask their fear or cover up their lurking insecurity that they themselves are one of the losers. So, the thinking goes, “If I call that person a loser, then I must not be one of them.” (Yeah, right.) People are so afraid of being called a loser; they will go to great lengths, often at the expense of others, to point the glaring spotlight away from their own foibles.
Let me tell you the story about one so-called loser. Jesus in his time was heralded by many as the savior of Israel. News of his miracles were celebrated and his reputation for wisdom was growing throughout the region. But by the end of his life, many of his admirers became his detractors and he died an agonizing death. Isaiah 53 talks about a man who was “despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, familiar with suffering.” By then, his apostles were left in fear and disarray. His ministry seemed to be extinguished, his preaching unfruitful, and his claim of salvation to the world a broken promise. In Jesus’s time, he would have been perceived as someone who went on an intense ministry for three years with nothing to show for it, and who later died a criminal’s shameful death. In other words, by today’s standards, Jesus would be a “loser.”
But we all know that Christ’s resurrection proved that his earthly torment and death was only a temporary event. Jesus’ resurrection made him, and all of us who believe in his name, “winners” in the final accounting. Paul’s confidence in his reward stems from his faith in Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 4:8 says, “Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.”
The truth is, all people lose at many points in their lives, some more than others. All of us have become and continue to be losers. But exactly how many times does a person need to fail to be called a loser? The personal stories of some of the most successful men are stories of years of constant failing before succeeding. Abraham Lincoln would have probably been labeled a loser by today’s standards, until history judged him to be one of America’s greatest presidents.
God did not make men perfect and “he causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matthew 5:45). He especially reserves the lowest points, the greatest sufferings, and the biggest defeats, to those he dearly loves. The Bible is filled with Godly characters experiencing ungodly misery – Job, David, Jeremiah, as well as the saints of the New Testament who suffered countless trials and suffering. As such, God reserves a very special place in his heart for all the “losers” in this world. Soren Kierkegaard describes the type of people that Jesus associated with:
“And what company does he keep? Well, that can be described by saying that he is an outcast from “human society.” The company he keeps is the lowest class of the population, including, furthermore, sinners and tax-gatherers, who are shunned by every man of any importance who values his good name and reputation; and a good name and reputation is surely the last thing one would like to lose. His company consists, moreover, of lepers, who are shunned by everybody, madmen, who provoke only horror, of the sick and the needy, of poverty and wretchedness.” [i]
However, one must understand that “loser” is more a state of mind than a fact expressed by others. We all feel like losers at some point in time. Even Jesus, at the height of his agony and by his human nature cried out “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). But despite his earthly circumstances and natural human emotions, and despite the insults of the crowd at his trial and crucifixion, Jesus knew deep inside that he was not a loser because he saw the promise of heavenly glory (Matthew 24:30). And because of this conviction, Jesus was able to pursue his destiny to the very end, a destiny that would eventually and positively affect countless lives through many generations. And so we must have that confidence in Christ, that while we may feel like losers at times, and while others may taunt and accuse us, we are assured of our real station in life – as children of God (John 1:12) bound for glory. All who believe in Jesus are on the winning team.
For us Christians who feel abandoned by God or bereft of his grace, for those of us who seem to experience one failure after another, who somehow do not fit in, who are non-performers, underachievers, and outsiders, we must remember that our life is not a matter of winning and losing by the world’s standards. It is God who determines who the real so-called winners are. And it is the saints who fulfill God’s purpose in obedience and faith, who go through life’s trials with “Christ in them, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:12), who will end up richly rewarded. “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Corinthians 4:17).
What’s the point of life? Is it to be a winner in the world’s eyes? To God, there really are no winners and losers in this world, only those who love and obey him and those who don’t. His love, grace and discipline do not distinguish between winners and losers. Rather he looks at the condition of a person’s heart . . . “Blessed are the poor in spirit . . . blessed are those who mourn . . . blessed are the meek" (Matthew 5: 3-5). What God looks for and rewards are a humble spirit, a sense of anguish for one’s sin, and one’s willingness to submit to Christ’s will[ii]. We should not even attempt to categorize ourselves as winners or losers for it is God who will eventually judge us. He said that many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first (Matthew 19:30).
Are you a winner or a loser? That was and is never the point.
A.G. Astudillo, 1986
[i] Kierkegaard, Soren. Training in Christianity.
[ii] Wycliffe Bible Commentary, p. 937